Mar 20, 2007
Setting Limits In Friendship

Many people find themselves caught up in other's problems, then feel confused about how and when to help.

All relationships need limits whether they are friendships, sibling relations, mate/lovers, business relations, etc.

There are five steps to limit setting:

1. Choosing to set limits. You will tolerate a difficult relationship situation just as long as you choose to tolerate it. You are the one choosing to set boundaries in place.

2. Decide where to set the limits. Think about the entire situation. Consider your time, emotions, and means. Then consider whether you are helping the other person or merely allowing them avoid or postpone his/her own problem solving. Aim to do something to help the other person without taking on the whole problem.

3. Express the limits clearly. For example, you say to your friend, "I will loan you up to $200.00 no more than once every three months. And I expect each loan to be repaid within three months and certainly before you can borrow more.

4.Stick to your limits.You are not responsible for making the other person obey the limits. You are only responsible for following the limits yourself and for reinforcing them

Limit setting is difficult because people mistake it for rejection. However, limits mean that you care enough not to get entangled in your friend, lover, sibling's problems.

Setting limits is a challenging task at work; it often seems an insurmountable task when love is involved. However, like all people skills, setting limits is a process that gets easier with practice.

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A heartfelt message for your friend/ best buddy/ loved one who's always in your thoughts.

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posted by Robert at Tuesday, March 20, 2007 ¤ Permalink ¤